I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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