I am puke
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
