To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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