Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize