Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
