he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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