I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
