Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
