I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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