I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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