If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize