I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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