I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
