dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
