hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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