Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
