if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
