i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
