i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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