Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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