you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize