ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
