I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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