My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
