do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
