sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
