Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
