He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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