R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
