Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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