and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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