I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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