I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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