i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
