She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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