You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
