do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
