So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
zippers are such a cool invention
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
