I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
