He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
