the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
