You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
