Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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