and you said cock pushups were impossible
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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