my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
