My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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