I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
