Having a random hookup so left but love u
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This baby is an asshole
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
