Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
