my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
