This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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