I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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