Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
