How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
