ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
