The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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