You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
