Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
