I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize