I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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