I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
