Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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