batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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