she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sober January is a disaster.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
